In this World, I will Fall in Love with You a Second Time - Chapter 33

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 April 30

 

I spent the night at the hospital and went home the following night.

The doctor scolded me, asking why I didn’t come to the hospital sooner.

He told me to take better care of my body – that the people around me, they care about me.

Because of my selfishness, I gave them another headache.

And now, more and more people are worrying about me.

 

It would have been better if we just spent our days without thinking about this.

I didn’t want you to carry this burden with me.

I just wanted to make you smile whenever we’re together.

Just you being there with me— 

I was happy.

 

 

When I got home and read the diary, I found that the entry had changed. It carried much greater emotions than it originally had.

All because of me.

 

“Was it a mistake?”

The things that I told Kanata and Miyuki were the truth.

Compared to the pain of seeing his lifeless body, a little bout like this is nothing.

However these feelings… they might be a bother to Arata if you asked him.

Was this the source of his worries?

“I don’t know… I don’t know, but we have no choice but to keep moving forward.”

 

Nothing will change if I just let things be… With those thoughts in my head, I flipped over to the next page.

 

 

May 1

 

I saw Asahi in school but we didn’t say a word to each other.

She was looking at me like she wanted to say something but in the end, she couldn’t.

Miyuki asked if we had a fight. 

Without hesitation, I told her that we broke up… after which, Kanata gave me a straight to the face.^[A]

You guys are such good friends…

 

They told me that I should have a proper talk with her but… I’m done.

It was just for a few days but I’m glad I got into a relationship with her.

It’s gonna be a long holiday after tomorrow.

Once some time passes, I’m sure…

◆―◆―◆

 

I closed the diary.

“What do I do to make him talk about it?”

Kanata’s plan was still plastered in the back of my mind but… I’d feel bad if we actually do that.

“Let’s just try talking to Arata for now…”

And so, I lay down on my bed and let my eyelids drop.

 

 

When I woke up, I went through the usual routine and headed for school.  

“He’s not here…”

According to the diary, Arata came to school today.

However, he was nowhere to be seen at our meeting spot.

“Of course… He said it himself, that we should break up…” 

My heart tightened. 

“It hurts a lot more than I thought it would…”

I desperately tried to hold back my tears but they were already falling before I noticed.

Wiping them away with the sleeves of my uniform, I walked to school… alone.

 

 Once I got to the classroom, I saw Arata laying low in the middle of the classroom’s bustle.

“Good morning!”

I gave him the usual greeting. However, after giving me a surprised look, Arata turned his head away, ignoring me.

“……”

“It’s nice that you came to school today!”

“……”

“Did you finish yesterday’s printout? Today’s the deadline for that, you know?”

“……”

Each and every one of my attempts was met with silence.

Not willing to relent, I continued on but… Arata continued to give me the cold shoulder. 

 

“Hey, did you guys have a fight?” Hina asked.

“Hmm?”

“I haven’t seen you and Arata together since the start of the day.”

“Well, I guess you could say that…”

I was planning to head towards Arata’s seat during the break but he left the moment it started, seemingly to avoid me.

Because of that, we haven’t had a single exchange besides this morning— if you even call that an exchange.  

“It must have been his fault, right?”

“No, it’s not like that, but… Thank you… for worrying about us.”

Hina looked at me with a concerned expression while Miyuki… was already making her way over to Arata’s seat while exuding a demonic aura.^[B]

 

“ARATA!”

“What?”

“I don’t know what you two are fighting over but aren’t you gonna apologize for making her cry?!”

I chased after Miyuki as she made her way to his seat.

“We weren’t even fighting,” Arata replied, surprised by her words. Shooting me a quick glance, he continued, “We broke up.”

“Wha—”

“That’s why. See you later, then,” he said as he stood up from his chair.

“Wait! Where are—”

“I’m going home. I have things to do.”

Taking his bag, he left the classroom without looking back.

Once he was out of sight, Miyuki’s expression changed to an anxious one as she cast her eyes on me.

“It’s… yesterday… we had an argument… and then…” I tried to explain.

“And what?! Are you okay with that?!”

“OF COURSE I’M NOT!!”

“Asahi…”

Due to my sudden outburst, everyone’s attention turned towards me.

“Sorry.”

When I returned to my seat, Hina asked me about what happened but I couldn’t find the strength to answer her.

 

 

After the incident, I messaged Arata a few times but to no avail. 

It seems like he was not answering Kanata’s phone calls either.

“Did he have an appointment at the hospital today?”

“I haven’t heard anything about that but… it’s not like he needs to tell me everything…”

It was after school.

After seeing Miyuki and Hina off to their clubs, Kanata and I were the only two who remained in the classroom.

“What now? You going over to his house?” he asked.

“Doesn’t look like he’ll open the door for me, does it?” I said in jest.

In response to that, Kanata creased his brows and hesitantly said “I think, it’s impossible.”

“Eh?”

“I know you want to hear it directly from him, but… I think he would never do it.”

 

Ah, really… Once Kanata, always Kanata.

“That’s why… I have a plan.”

Whether it’s in the past, or in the present, he never changes. He’s always thinking about us.

“I’ll try talking about his illness when you’re with us.”

 

Those words were exactly what he said just a few hours ago.

When I was desperately searching for a solution, he told me he had a plan right before we went home.

However, I still could not come to a decision.

 

 

“Is it okay? For me to depend on him that much…” I muttered after checking the changes in the diary.

In all honesty, nothing much had changed.

“What do I do…”

 

If I went along with Kanata’s plan, it’s a surefire way to ‘learn’ about Arata’s disease.

But then, Kanata is gonna be the one facing the consequences…

 

“It’s 12 AM…”

Taking a look at the clock, it was still the middle of the night. 

I was still uncertain on which path to take but I started to read the next page nonetheless.

 

 

May 2

 

I was considering whether I should stop writing in this diary.

It’s full of my thoughts about Asahi.

And it’s not the most pleasant one to hear.

 

Once she opens this, she’ll be reading about how much I like her and how much I thought of her.

All those things will be for her eyes to see.

 

Asahi, I’m sorry.

I wanted to be with you without all those obligations.

I wanted our time together to be full of joy, without worries.

I just wanted you to know how much I love you all those times.

 

Written in this diary would be the last words from me to you.

I have always loved you, Asahi.

 

Farewell.

 

 

Once the meaning of the words sank, I was shocked.

The past has changed.

 

“Why… does it have to be… like this…”

 

It was very different from the past I knew.

If things were to end like this, then the past that I can change, the things that we did before— would all disappear.

 

“I don’t want that!”

So, I closed the diary and went back to bed, closing my eyes shut.

“Kanata, I’m sorry…”

Apologising to the friend who always had our backs, I once again set out to the dream world.

 

 

Today too, Arata didn’t even bat an eye.

 

“Where do you think we should do it?” I asked the person sitting next to me.

“I still think going to his house would be our best bet,” the person in question, Kanata, replied.

“Will he let me in though?”

I was talking to Kanata during our break.

Miyuki and Hina shot us a puzzled look when they saw us together but I paid them no mind.

“Still, I didn’t think he’d take it like that…” he looked at Arata with a face full of worry.

“I won’t let him end it like this!” I told him. “There’s still a lot of happy times ahead of us! I won’t stop until I have enough memories with him to cherish for the rest of my life!”

“I guess so,” he replied as he turned his gaze back to me. “After school,” he continued.

“Eh?”

“On the way home, I’ll stop him. Then, I’ll start talking.”

“Okay… Sorry for making you do this…”

“It’s okay. Besides… I wanna see you two smile again.” Kanata said with a chuckle.

However, as I could feel the sadness behind that laugh, I was unable to reply to him.  

 

After school—

“I’ll try talking to him first.”

Kanata nodded, as if he understood everything. “I thought you’d say that.”

“Sorry… And thank you.”

With him seeing me off, I ran over to Arata, who was still walking through a nearby park.

 

“ARATA!”

“Asahi…”

“I want to talk.”

“I don’t…”

“Even if you don’t! We need to!!”

As if pressured by my tone, Arata hung his head and said with a weak voice, “If you can make it short, then…”

“Thank you.”

 

The two of us walked through the park together until we found a bench to sit on.

 

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You went home early yesterday so I just assumed you weren’t feeling well.”

“Yes. Thanks for asking.”

“I’m glad, then…”

 

““……””

Our conversation came to a halt.

 

“If that’s all, then…”

“Arata.”

Interrupting him mid sentence, I ask him once again. “I’ll ask you again… Are you… hiding something from me?”

“Why…”

“I always see you alone with that sad expression on your face. I want you to tell me. I’m always here for you.”

“……”

Taking his hands into mine, I held onto them tightly. “I’m not as weak as you probably think. I want to be able to walk beside you through everything… with our hands together like this.”

“Asahi…”

“So please… tell me.”

 

His eyes wavered.

However…

“Sorry.”

That was all he said as he let go of my hands.

“It’s because I like you that I can’t say it. I don’t want to… It’s just me being selfish and I’ll understand if you hate me because of that.”

“Ara—”

 

“I… cannot be with you.

I can’t.

 So please… Forget about me.”

 

 

 

“Just do as he says.”

“Kanata?”

“ ?!”

Kanata, who appeared before us like a ghost, grabbed me by the hand and pulled me away.

“If he’s going that far, then it’s fine if you just straight up hate him. After all, he’s a useless piece of shit.”

“What are you…”

“Right, Arata? You want Asahi to hate you right? I’ll tell her, then.”

“STOP THAT!!” 

Arata grabbed his arm in anger.

Kanata, however, put on a serious expression and said, “Asahi, this guy here… he’s gonna die soon. His heart’s in such a bad condition that you can’t do anything about it. So… even if the two of you want to stay together, you can’t.”

“YOU!!”

“Hey, Asahi. Instead of this idiot, why not be with me instead?”

“EH?”

Understanding my confusion, Kanata continued explaining.

“If it’s me, I wouldn’t do anything that’d make you sad. I won’t make you cry. Besides… This guy said that I should do this if I wanted to too.”

“Arata?” 

Turning my head towards Arata, I saw him looking away from me.

 

“Look at me. I can be with you— forever, if you want to.”

Those were the last words I heard before he sealed my lips with his.

 

ED Notes:

[A] Straight Punch

[B] This was after the break already.

[TL Comments!]

 

OH MY GOD!! HE’S GONE AND DONE IT!!!

 

I got the chills as I was translating the end of this chapter.

I knew there was something going on with Kanata’s plan and all, but I didn’t expect him to just kiss her like that!

Now, what will it be… will our protagonist choose to jump ships, or will she choose to stay in the titanic even after it hit the iceberg? Well, we all can probably predict the answer based on what we’ve read so far, but I’m still hoping for a twist that I wouldn’t expect!

[Comment end]

 

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